*waves* Hi everyone, this is my first guest blog spot and I thought I'd start of with a little bit of an explanation about me.
My name is Mel and I've been Nye's partner for the past two years. Meeting Nye helped me to learn a lot about my own sexuality and part of this is what I'd like to share with you.
My sister always thought I was a bit different when we were growing up. I can always remember one time when we went shopping together as teenagers and she spotted a hot looking guy, she nudged me about him but I just hadn't seen him. She always teased me that I never noticed the hot guys. Of course this made me entertain the idea of my being attracted to women, but it was pretty much the same with them.
This isn't to say that I wasn't interested, I often was, though I didn't have many dates. However, it was always after I got to know a person that I felt attraction. I learnt to fake appreciation though for the sake of getting along better with girlfriends.
When I met Nye I was already accustomed to this fact about myself. It's important to be aware that at this time Nye was publicly passing as a female, most especially at work where we met. So as our friendship was developing and I was discovering my attraction to Nye I was getting a little confused.
The problem was that while I felt comfortable with the idea of being with a woman, it was my attraction to Nye's personality that mattered, I just didn't get a female vibe from Nye. Add to this confusion that I was getting major mixed messages from Nye (note: your boss is likely to feel uncomfortable about asking you out) and I didn't know what to think.
It was just after a lot of these feelings had come to a head and I'd made the personal decision that it was best for us to just be friends that Nye told me about GID and that she was actually a he. Suddenly everything fell into place in my head and made sense. Oh and yeah it didn't take us long after that to get together. *grins*
I think the light bulb moment for me was when I was chatting on the phone with Nye soon after this and I described him as a heterosexual male, that he doesn't identify with the gay community at all really. His reaction then told me I'd hit the nail on the head and I was really happy that I'd gotten there myself.
I started reading an researching more and more about GID and related topics. Nye started me off with some links and it just snowballed from there. Somewhere along the line I stumbled upon the term Pansexual, and suddenly I knew where I fit. It wasn't that Pansexuality was about the personality side of my attraction, but that it didn't matter who the person was, but that I could be attracted no matter what.
So that's who I am, future posts will be more about my experiences with a FTM partner and what it's like experiencing the changes he's going through from a partner's perspective. I'm looking forward to sharing with you all.
~Mel.
First blog post
8 years ago
1 comments:
I am also pansexual. I am attracted to people, not parts. That doesn't mean I don't notice a hot guy or a cute girl (like I can appreciate a pretty painting or a great bassline), but that I can be attracted to and fall in love with someone regardless of their genitalia. It's hard to explain to people... they always say, 'Oh, you mean you're bisexual,' and you have to explain that no, you're just attracted to what is beneath the physical, and whatever the physical *is* is just sprinkles on the tasty cake within. It took me a long time to figure out my pansexuality, and the fact that the spellchecker is underlining that word in red just goes to show that society has a long way to go to figure it out, too.
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